The Box Exercise
(created by Shannon Wright & Arianne Smith)

There are many walls that we put up between our faith and ourselves. Whether consciously or unconsciously at one point in time all of us have been effected by these emotional barriers. Although we may not be able to recognize it now, there are things that Christianity and the Church offer us that are hard to find anywhere else. The purpose of this exercise is to at least acknowledge this anger, fear, resentment, or disillusionment and attempt to work through it.

On every table there is a box that is wrapped in four different layers of material. The box is symbolic of Christianity and the Church and the layers of material represent the many walls or emotional barriers that prevent us from being able to see what is inside of the box, or, to accept and work with the gifts that religion may offer us. As we read through the negative images, events, personalities, and ideas that may characterize each layer, we ask that you pass the box around the table and reflect on what this layer may mean to you. What is keeping you from growing spiritually through religion? If none of the examples jump out at you, then maybe that is layer that you have already eliminated, or was, possibly never there in the first place. But likely there is at least one thing that has affected your view of religion and the church in a negative way.

 After each layer is defined and you have all taken time to reflect on its individual significance, one person at the table can rip this layer off and lay it aside. Obviously it is not so easy to just “get rid of” these negative feelings in your own lives, but the purpose is not to miraculously discard all anger, but to realize where this anger is coming from and accept that it is there.

1) The first layer is wrapped in newspaper because it represents the historical, media-generated negative images of the church. This layer is impersonal, but incredibly influential on most people’s concepts of Christianity.

It is the hate killings, the abortion clinic bombings, the televangelists that preach messages of judgment and sinfulness.

It is the scandals of the Catholic priests that are now gracing just about every magazine and newspaper cover in America.

It is the stuff that you read in history books as a kid.

It is the Holy wars, the Inquisition, the slaughtering of the Native Americans in the name of our God.

It is any group of people who were oppressed because Christians felt like they had the right to be conquerors because they were “God’s chosen people.”

It is any historic figure that took up the cross in the name of violence.

It is the public representatives of our faith who talk about loving Christ but then encourage hatred.

This layer is obvious, and it is everywhere. The ideas that it has instilled in our minds are hard to get rid of because we see them or hear about them all the time. Almost every time we pick up a newspaper, history book, turn on the T.V. or the radio we are bombarded with bad reflections of our faith.

Let’s take a moment to think about how this layer effects us and our perception of Christianity and what emotional barriers it creates within us that we may need to work through to feel comfortable as a Christian.

Pause

Now rip off the newspaper layer and set it aside.
 
2) The second layer is glaring and reflective, many times resulting in a bad self-image. This barrier is created as a result of people that we have known or come in direct contact with who have practiced Christianity in a destructive way. This layer is more personal than the last and generally more obtrusive.

It is encouraged by any Christian who condemns someone who doesn’t fit into their specific “mold” of Christianity. 

It is anyone who’s ever told you that you were going to hell for your sins.

It is your Sunday school teacher who answered all your questions by telling you that you just have to “have faith.”

It is your preacher who said that God is Love and then demonized huge groups of people.

It is establishments like Hellhouse that exploit people’s suffering to scare you into becoming a “believer.” 

This layer is incredibly hard to work through because it becomes a part of us, and changes the way that we see ourselves. If all of my life I have been told by people close to me that I am going to go to hell, how can I suddenly enter a church and not feel judged? This layer takes time…

Take a minute to think about people that you’ve known that have made the Christian message seem hypocritical and hateful. Consider how you can begin to see them as separate from the Church and religion…as individuals who just don’t have everything quite figured out yet, not as representatives of Christianity as a whole.

Pause

Now rip the aluminum foil layer off and set it aside. 
 

3) The third layer is thinner or less substantial than the rest but sometimes it is the most irritating. It is the practices of the church that annoy us, things that may seem outdated or even ridiculous.

It is any ritual that makes you feel uncomfortable in the church.

It is the often repetitious services that consist of sitting, standing, kneeling, and reciting some prayers with little to no variation from one week to the next.

It is the church funds that are pumped into nicer stained glass windows, a bigger building, or an extra gold cross. 

It is a total disconnection with nature – it is being caged up in an air-conditioned building for two hours on Sundays instead of experiencing God’s presence through the outdoors.

For women, it is the annoyance of having to constantly assume that by “he” what we’re really saying is “he and she.” It is the lack of female representation in most worship services.

It is bad church music.

It is the feeling you get when you enter some churches that you’ve just been zapped back in time to the middle ages – it is a lack of progress on the church’s part.

The difference between this layer and the others is that this is a layer we may be able to have an influence on in the future. And there are probably some of us sitting in this room who will go on to make changes in this area. But what about those of us who don’t want to dedicate our lives to “fixing” the church? Are we just supposed to wait?

This is why for most of us it is important to work through this irritation or annoyance – because if not, we may spiritually starve ourselves while we’re waiting for someone to come in and build a better church. 

Think about what it is that irritates you about church. What practices does the church employ that “turn you off” from religion? How can you get past these annoyances? Or, how can you work to change them?

Pause 

Now rip off the layer of tissues paper and set it aside.

4) The fourth layer is the most frustrating because you can see the inside of the box, and although you know that something is permitting you from reaching it, it is often hard to pinpoint what this barrier is. This layer is completely personal, it is sometimes parts of our personality that are incompatible with organized religion or anger hidden so deeply that sometimes we don’t even know that it is there.

For this layer ask yourself, what is it about myself that just doesn’t fit right with Christianity?

Maybe you’re naturally skeptical, or you want to rationalize everything. You need to see something to believe it, or you’re introverted and so you don’t feel comfortable opening up in a large church community. Maybe you just hold a deep grudge and feel like you were never able to choose your faith. 

Whatever your deep personal issue is, try to think about it and bring it to the surface. If you can just begin to identify it you will be one step closer to being able to find away around it. 
 
Now take of the layer of saran rap and put it aside.

In the inside of the box there is a bag of seeds. Pass it around the table and take a seed for yourself. The seed is representative of the gift that Christianity is offering you. In the four corners of the box are four people that have taken their seeds of religion and nourished it with their own personal love and faith – they have broken down their layers of resentment enough so that they could take what Christianity was offering them and work with it. These are examples of people who have worked through the church.

The important thing is not what you decide to do with your seed. You could very well throw it away, or bury it and come back to it later. By working through these layers of anger and resentment you are given the opportunity to nourish your Christian faith, but by casting off these burdens you are also letting yourself grow as an individual. You are beginning the healing process. The Indigo girls sing, “When you learn to love yourself you will dissolve all the stones that are cast.” You cannot love yourself when you are suffocating under the weight of repressed anger and resentment, when you are carrying on your back the stones that others have cast. The process is painful, but when you are finally able to look past all the bad examples, to be immersed in God free of any negative feelings, you will know that it was all worth it.