These principles were written in 1990 to promote better understanding within the church. They address some of the more frequently asked questions.

1. I believe in giving a youth unsolicited respect and trust, and in speaking and dealing with them as equals.  In counseling, I give them the benefit of the doubt, believing that they have thought through their values, their decisions, and their lifestyle.  I would rather have them admit after, that they have not done so, rather than judge them first.

2. I believe in giving youth responsibility and leadership growth experiences, allowing them to fail when necessary.  I try to be there, at a safe distance, to support them.  I believe in letting them feel, as much as possible, that the choir is theirs, thus developing a sense of “ownership”.

3. I believe in respecting the individuality of each young person and the timing of God in his or her life.  That timetable is personal and specific to each one and is not mine to order.  I’m called only to be faithful with the message and ministry.  God’s time clock with each youth is specific and different.  In other words, I respect the distance some youth choose to keep in watching the kingdom of God, rather than engaging in it.  They must have the right to watch from “the sycamore tree”, or to follow at the edge of the crowd simply for the miracles or the food because tomorrow they may carry his cross.

4. I will never pressure young people regarding their commitment to God or to Sonlight.  If they choose to drop out, I call, I let them know I care and that they are missed, but I will not leave them feeling guilt or pressure.  I am convinced that this has been the best way to deal with them simply from the number of them that have felt comfortable enough to come back to the group after a lay-off.  Likewise, I feel very strongly about allowing them the space to make their decisions of faith in a non-pressured, non-emotional setting.  I believe such commitments are more real and lasting.

5. I believe in being faithful and having patience and trust in God for this ministry of Sonlight.  I see the ministry as “planting seeds” in young lives at a formative time and, at the very least, giving them a picture of God they can carry with them to college or call upon at later stages in their life when their heart is ready.

6. I am committed to seeing that not only Trinity but also the “church” in America remain responsive and relevant to the younger generation, so that our churches are not vacated by the young as they are in England.  Very definite decisions and directional choices years ago have left the English churches cold, old, and bereft of young people.  Our decisions today affect the future of the church tomorrow. deep throat suck, ffm bbw, sybian orgasm machine, zoo porn, ladies winter boots, asian hot teen, hot latin babes, reality bang, skinny pussy, huge asian tits, naturist youth photo galleries, stories rape, creampie panties, free bisexual porn videos, j lo showing her pussy and ass, bbw booty, trans am used parts, gallery movie rimjob, husbands spanking their wives, free male porn, deep anal, dickies medical uniform, atk natural and hairy, dating advice for women, cfnm hand job story, black cum white face, free gang bang movies, free group sex thumbnails, huge black dicks, xxx secretary, 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7. I am actively committed to staying aware of what life is like for a teenager today in Gainesville.  It is my responsibility to know their music, to see the movies and entertainment they see, and to know the peer pastimes and social pressures peculiar to each high school.  I want to be aware of what’s happening at parties, what particular drugs are available, what venereal diseases are prevalent, and what agencies are available to help them.  I ask many questions of teenagers and where there is established trust I get honest answers.

8. I believe that what is going on “out there” is so much more than that of which the parents are aware.  Most young people tell me they can’t begin to be honest with their folks.  Allow me to put this simplistically, where letters represent pressure and problems confronted by youth today: most teenagers say their parents believe they’re dealing with “A”, but suspect maybe “B”.  In reality, they are dealing with “F”, “G”, and “H”, and don’t know how to begin to let them know it’s so much more than “B”, for fear they’ll overreact (and probably will).  So, they live two lives.  I am determined to encourage them to be honest with me here at church, about their lives.  It is my hope that they will remember that it was at the church that they could be honest about who they were and what they were struggling with, and that it was at the church where they found love, acceptance, and help.

9. I believe in confidentiality in my counseling and listening, and I always discuss involving their parents when possible.  Sometimes it has worked well and sometimes it has clearly not been a good move.  In many instances I have been able to help guide parents without betraying the youth’s confidentiality.

10. I believe in spending more time and focus on those who feel the least acceptance in the church - the “bad boys, the bad girls”.  I want them to remember being met with love by someone who believed in them at the church.  Sometimes, for a teenager, a bad reputation is difficult to lose.  To know that someone believes in you and loves you is just what’s needed.  You become the love of Christ to them.

11. I believe in conveying through choir focus times and choir discussions that sins have no “top ten order”, so far as we can glean from Jesus’ preaching.  The church sometimes appears to focus on the big, bad three - “drinking, drugs, and sexual promiscuity”.  And yet, so much more space and attention was given by Jesus to the insidious, cloaked sins of “not loving enough”, of “spiritual pride”, and “selfishness”.  I believe the church should not be trapped into representing the sternest concern the big, black sins, but should deal with them and put them in the perspective Jesus did in his encounter with the woman taken in adultery.

12. I believe in confronting a youth and in advising/counseling a youth - but find this is most effective coming on a foundation of love and trust with them.  It has been my experience that to listen first, to love first, and to accept first has won me the right to advise them.  It comes at their invitation.  Nine out of ten times they ask me for help and advice.  Counsel given in that instance is so much better received than unsolicited judgement.  I prefer to be known for love and acceptance first and judgement second.

13. I spend a great deal of time developing trust from the young people.  I work hard for their trust and for opportunities to give them unconditional love, acceptance, and trust.  I find, in most cases where trust and confidence is given, the young person rises to my expectations and in many cases his or her best qualities and potential are revealed.

14. I believe in honesty both to them and from them.  As a Christian I have come to conclusions for myself about my lifestyle.  Many of the young people know that as an adult I drink, and that it is a matter they too will need to decide for themselves like many things that are not black and white - things for which they will need to learn to exert judgement and control.  I believe they appreciate my honesty.

15. Similarly, I believe in young people expressing their faith or place in life at exactly “where they are”.  I will never ask a young person to share publicly (in a song introduction) something that sounds nice and is not real to them.  We talk a great deal about song introductions, etc.

16. I believe Sonlight’s role in this church is as a “port of entry” - a place to peek in at faith through a non-threatening situation - singing - in rehearsals, where questions are posed and the youth are challenged.  I believe that UMYF, Sunday School, and church are further into the center of things - the next stop, so to speak, after the port of entry if they are given to faith and want to grow.  I am fully committed to encouraging that growth and involvement in these other parts of Trinity.

17. My personal style is reflected in loose and sometimes rowdy rehearsals.  I have found this to be good in developing a fun “group personality”.  It may at first appear that I do not have their respect.  I believe that I do have their respect, but in a less traditional “teacher-student” manner.  Approachability in youth ministry is arguably the greater gain.

18. I’m not sure I believe in theology.  I think it is dangerous to think we can study God and, at best, “contrived” to believe we can arrive at a systematic theology from the life and ministry of Jesus.  He dealt with individuals and situations with such variety that he seems to defy any “Gospel in a nut shell”.  He bursts from our constructed boxes and flies from our pages of theology - to say, I think, “God is bigger”.  The pharisees could not trap him nor will our 20th century theologians or the Methodist Church!  And so the greatest message I feel compelled to share with these youth is God and his revelation of himself in Jesus - his reality, his relevance, his world, and most importantly his fathomless love.

19. I believe God is not confined to speaking through sacred institutions.  I believe he can speak through the most worldly of vehicles and circumstances - through the unordained and unsacred and “earthy”.  I believe it is his world and I am committed to helping these young people see his threads in everything - their family, a pop song, a biology course, politics.  When their teacher lectures on DNA he is sharing God’s principles, whether he acknowledges him or not.  I do not believe in the division of secular and sacred.  I believe this makes for poor mental health and a limited, narrow “faith walk”.  I also believe it is harder for one to run from God when he or she has been taught to see God in everything and when everywhere he or she goes God has been there first.

20. I believe musical styles cannot have moral values.  Classical music is not more moral than “rock and roll”.  Music can be performed well or poorly, and performers can represent poor or high morals with their lifestyle.  I believe it is unfair to the musical style to judge the music by the performer.  I do not reject Jazz as sinful music because so many Jazz performers were heroin addicts and were sexually promiscuous.  And, I do not reject rock and roll because many rock musicians are immoral (and many are not).  Wagner was one of the most vile and immoral men I have ever studied and yet, his music is pure genius.  Again, musical styles cannot be evil in themselves - Rock music is a valid contemporary sound expression, and one which is a favorite of most adolescents and young adults today.

21. I believe in selecting music which speaks to the young people in Sonlight and which has something to say to the people who hear us.  In music ministry the text and what discussion and thought it can lead to is of primary importance in my music selection.  We have occasional ordinary anthems to fill the schedule, but I try to keep them to a minimum (please refer to “Pop Music” paper).  Most of the music I select is from a pop/light rock vein because it is the most palatable packaging for teenagers.  I don’t believe you can minister to them with an outdated packaging or presentation and expect to have their attention.

22. I am committed to trying to maintain a balance of personality types in Sonlight - nerds, geeks, bookworms, popular kids, student government leaders, “bad” kids, cool kids, and wild kids.  When we seem to go too heavy in one personality direction I seek out a balance from the other.  I believe this balance is important so that any young person joining the choir can find acceptance there and be comfortable.  I think this is important.  Christians aren’t one kind of person - thank God!  Young people need to know this.

23. I believe I have a responsibility to help those who have a problem with the controversial nature of the Sonlight ministry - to spend the time necessary to explain myself and the things I am trying to do - the “whys” behind what they see.  I understand that it is my responsibility directly to explain this non-traditional and sometimes controversial youth choir ministry.